We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
