I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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