party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
