one might say we're banned from that church
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
