I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
