I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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