what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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