well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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