I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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