I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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