He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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