i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
