Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
