do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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