Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
How external is "for external use only"?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
