The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
