I'm eating all of the evidence.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
