i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
