So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
dude. I can hear the air.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
