What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i love accidental penises.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
