she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
