her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
