Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry about my life...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
