I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
