watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
