ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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