the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
