I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
