so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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