i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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