Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
