Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
