Joe is yelling at the trees again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
