Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
