in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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