ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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