You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
