do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
