So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
