I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
