im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Blood and glitter go together right?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
