And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There r osticjed everywhere
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
