very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
