Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
