Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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