i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
