I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
