Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i out mim tonsoeep
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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