We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
