I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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