I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Still dying that you shit outside
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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